


The Rise of a Death Eater

by RedFoxie2



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Underworld (Movies)
Genre: Bartemius crouch jr/lucian, Lycans, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedFoxie2/pseuds/RedFoxie2
Summary: Also published on tumblrHave you ever wondered what life was like for one of the most brilliant Death Eaters in Voldemort? Here Bartolomius “Barto” Crouch Jr tells a little about his youth and how he became one of the most loyal followers of the Dark Lord.
Relationships: Bartemius Crouch Jr./Original Character(s), Lucian (Underworld)/Everyone
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive any mistake, English is not my language. I mainly use google translator, any error, please let me know
> 
> • Barto jr was born in 1961 (on another website he says it was in 1963 but I will stick to making him as old as possible) and died in 1995 and was arrested in 1980 (He was 19) accused of torturing the Longbottom along with others diners (Rabastan, Bellatrix and Rodolfo)  
> • The first wizarding war took place between 1970 and 1981 but I did not find the exact date or age that Barto went to Voldemort's side so I am going to speculate that some 26 not to look so much younger.

There are those who say that I had a happy life, full of treats and privileges. That they kept rubbing my head for every thing I did wrong. I was really spoiled by my mother and being the son of the head of the Law Enforcement Department of Magic had its perks to some extent but I was never really happy, not as far as I can remember my childhood.  
Of course my mom loved me but didn't show it until it was too late and my dad? This one never gave me any attention or praise. It was just that typical story of wealthy parents who let their children be raised by the nanny. Was it too much to ask for love and attention from your parents?  
Obviously I grew up being seen in the eyes of the London witch society as a spoiled and cold idiot and I really didn't mind being like that. It was one of the few lessons my parents taught me, that there was no point in trying to please anyone except you wanted to be able to take advantage of it- or so I thought until the day I met you.  
Lucian.  
At the time I met him, I didn't know his story and unfortunately I didn't even care. I was really an arrogant asshole.  
It was an ordinary day, my father had called me at the Ministry to teach me morals for anything that I had done wrong, I was 26 years old and I was leaving my father's room so disgusted and I bumped into this guy who was just a little shorter than me, wearing simple, discreet, dark clothes and with long dark hair.  
"Hey, why don't you look where you are, asshole?" He said, angry, ready to point my wand at the stranger under the watchful eyes of all the nearby wizards.  
"I would say that you were distracted since I was walking calmly like a normal person while you looked like a wild fury out of control and ready to destroy anything in your path," the stranger said calmly with a soft foreign accent.  
I was really angry at him at the time. “Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? Don't you know who I'm a son of? A word from me to my father and you would be taken immediately to Azkaban without trial until the end of your days ”, I said smugly after all everyone immediately changed their behavior when they found out who my father was.  
"I really have no interest in who you or your father are so I would appreciate it if you apologized for your rudeness."  
I laughed sarcastically, “Me, apologize? Never. And you can believe that my father Bartolomeu Crouch will be furious when he learns how you spoke to me ".  
The guy then looked scared "Oh no, is your father Bartolomeu Crouch, head of the Department of Magic Law Enforcement?".  
I nodded positively pompous.  
He then smiled wryly, leaving me confused “Oh so I must say how much politeness he failed to give to his precious little son. What are you, like 20 years old? I shouldn't act like a spoiled brat. ”  
"How do you dare? And I'm already 26 years old "I growled ready to move on over that rude.  
“Worse yet, he is already an adult wizard who still acts like a reckless kid. DO YOU happen to know who I am? ”  
"No, and I don't care," I said petulantly. I was disgusted with this rude rascal, and offended that he continued to face me as my equal.  
"I won't waste my time arguing with an arrogant boy anymore."  
The stranger then left me alone and walked to the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.  
Now who was that idiot?  
I looked around the employees who were still looking at where the bastard and I were arguing, “Don't you have a job to do? Hurry up, "I shouted, walking even more irritated to the point of apparition.


	2. Capítulo 2

Lucian  
Lucian hated wizards more and more and it got worse by the second he stayed in that damn smelly box that Charles Baker called the room.  
"I'm terribly sorry, Mr Black, but there is no way to help you."  
I sighed tiredly. It was not the first time and I knew that it would not be the last time that I tried to find a solution to lycans discrimination and get rights for us. It was absurd in the twentieth century for Lupines to suffer discrimination for something they were not even to blame for.  
“I'm not surprised to hear that, actually. It is a bit disappointing that the wizarding society being so evolved has such disregard for beings that they think are inferior ”.  
“Mr. Black is not that I do not want to help you and your cause, after all I work in the department of magical creatures and I am a big fan of Mr. Scamander's work but it is not easy to fight against such an archaic system. Many have tried to make improvements to the magic laws so that they could benefit all creatures, but it is not something that can be done overnight ”.  
I waved to my feet, “I'm well aware of that, it's been a long, long time since I've tried. Thank you for having me here anyway, Mr. Baker ”  
“I'm really sorry, sir. Black Maybe in a few years things will change ”.  
I smiled weakly “Time is something I have to spare. I just wanted lycans to have enough time to see these changes arrive. ”  
I greeted the confused man again and left the office.  
What I said was the truth, I am one of the oldest lycans in the world, the oldest, actually. I have all the time in the world but I can't say the same about others. Since Viktor's death all those years ago, I have been roaming the land without a purpose. I was no longer a slave, my enemies were dead (at least most), as was the love of my life. I had nothing else to fight for or a reason to exist, until Raze called me back to reason, for William's remaining descendants, for their needs.  
And suddenly I had a new purpose, I could help the other lycans.  
Raze, myself and the other transformed ones managed to help the lycans make the transformation, it took some time but everyone managed to get there. It was not an easy thing but together we did it. We could all mix together now if we were careful not to be discovered by humans or meet with vampires.  
A few centuries after Viktor's death, we discovered the existence of wizards. And we soon discovered that wizards didn't really appreciate the idea of creatures like us, savages, that's what they called us. But it was almost comforting to see that they were not so fond of leeches either. And since then I have been trying to get rights for lycans.  
We were marginalized by wizards so what we were left with was learning from humans and adapting. Over time, the other lycans learned to control the mutation so they could transform when they wanted to. And so, we thrive on the sly.  
Of course, we were not perfect, we made some mistakes along the way (so the legends about werewolves that humans used to tell came up) but we did well.  
A few years ago, I was approached by a wizard who claimed to have heard of me and my search for living conditions and rights for lycans, his name was Newton Scamander, he claimed to be a maziologist and carried an interesting suitcase. He asked me about the history of the lycans and was surprised when I told him about William and Marcus and then about me, he was a really curious guy and his concern was genuine.  
Shortly after, he took me and Raze to the Ministry of magic, to the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (I tried not to be offended by the looks of disgust, Raze snarled when he saw the name of the department), he said it was a starting point for my goal. There, I was registered as the oldest existing werewolf, I never understood why that was a big deal considering the prejudice with which we were treated.  
After we registered, Raze and I said goodbye to the ministry official and Newt and went back to our hiding place.  
There weren't so many differences, we were registered, but for young wolves who sometimes had a spark of magic, they didn't have the right to attend a wizarding school, for us adults there were no decent jobs. We were seen almost the same eyes as other creatures, as if we couldn't think or feel like humans. Newt continued to support us but we still didn't get anywhere. We continue to be considered wild and dangerous beasts.

That's why I revolted with that ill-mannered young wizard I ran into. He represented all the wizards who treated us like animals, the ones who made us hate them almost as much as we hate vampires.  
As I headed for the exit I wished I never had to see those hateful dark eyes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errors, doubts or suggestions just contact me or write in the comments. Sorry about anything  
> Charles Baker doesn't exist, I just mixed Charlie from Spn with the name of Buddy Valastro's confectionery
> 
> I needed a surname for Lucian so I put Black but he is not related to Sirius' family


	3. Capítulo 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spoiled brat not too bad. A good wolf. A bad night for a wizard

Hours earlier, and I still foamed with anger every time I remembered that abusive abuse and the way he treated me, as if I were a brat in front of all departments.  
To make matters worse, when my father came home, I received another sermon.  
"I never thought it would be noticed that my son was making a scandal, everywhere, right at the Ministry of Magic, where I worked and I have a reputation."  
"Your reputation has not been tarnished, my father."  
"But yours was, everything that involves our family name affects my image. Boy, you are already a man and an heir to a very important and influential family, you cannot afford to be publicly humiliated, mainly by a lower class man ".  
"Yes, father. That won't happen again," he said, grudgingly inside I was on fire.  
"I really hope not, because if something like that happens again, you might regret the birth. I can't let you ruin my chances of being the next Minister of Magic."  
Of course, that would be the concern for his beloved father, who is so ambitious when occupying or carrying cargo from Millicent Bagnold as Minister of Magic, always trying to please and licking like boots when he passes. Pathetic.  
How did I ever want to be like him? I wondered.  
"So we understand. You can go back to ... whatever you were doing."  
Without saying anything, I like my dad and went to his room.  
There was not much to be done at home, there was no way your father would be there so take a random book and lay me in bed to read. Not long after, I heard a soft ploc in the room.  
"Hello Winkie," he said, pulling his book away to look at an Elfa house.  
"Young Master, it's dinner time already".  
I sighed "Thanks Winkie, but I'm not hungry right now, so maybe I'll eat something later".  
"But Master, you’re not coming all day, Winkie doesn’t want to see the young Master fainting from hunger."  
Winkie was an elf who was in the family since I was very young and she was always very protective of me and was the only person I loved and loved me back.  
"Thank you Winkie, but I don't want to eat now, now I just want to be alone", but I added when I saw her looking so sad "Later, can you bring me dinner, yes? I said with a weak smile..  
Winkie nodded with a small smile "Winkie will then leave the young Master alone."  
I couldn't relax. The scene of our discussion continued over and over in my mind.  
"Obviously, this guy is not from here and he is also very confident, becoming arrogant. Well, I am a little too, but in the end I am from an important and wealthy family, being arrogant is a prerequisite.  
I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to do something, expend energy, get into a fight, anything.  
I managed to leave the house without being seen and soon appeared in central London, at Travessa do tranco.  
Yes, yes, it was a suspicious place and many grumpy wizards went there, but it was also the perfect place to find a good fight and nobody there cared who is known or who is shaved, and if he found that man caves there even better, I thought smiling.

Lucian  
Ironing tray. Wizards have a really limited imagination for names.  
A really unpleasant place, but at least here it is almost common to find lycans, one of the few places where we are treated like scum is where we can buy supplies, exactly what I was doing, buying supplies and healing potions for my backpack. Lycans heal quickly, but when they fight each other or when silver is involved, it is really ugly and extra care is needed to ensure that they look good.  
After getting everything I needed at the apothecary, I went to a small bar that looked more or less decent, when I smelled a slightly familiar musk smell. And it smelled of pain, anger, drink. And blood.  
The puppy is in trouble, thought Lucian, his eyes shining with a supernatural blue.


	4. Capítulo 4

I managed to leave the house without being seen and soon I appeared in central London, at   
streak platter.  
Yes, yes, it was a suspicious place and many bad-natured wizards went there, but it was also the perfect place to find a good fight and no one there cared who is known or who is shaved, and if he found that caveman there , even better.  
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.  
That's what I am. What was I thinking? Come to Travessa do tranco, get drunk and look for a fight. Idiotic thing.  
All I wanted when I went to that bar was a little fun, nothing much. How do Muggles talk? 'Who seeks finds'".  
I flirted with the waitresses, swore at some guys and filled my face with that cheap, rancid drink.  
Hours later I left the bar, drunk as a troll, that my father would not see me in that state. I staggered through the streets and propped myself up against the walls until I heard footsteps behind me.  
"You have to be really stupid to show up in that kind of place, being whoever you are."  
"Ah, so you know my dear and wonderful father, you should tell a certain thing ... blow ... ah to that savage who he is because that idiot doesn't know".  
I was vaguely aware of the gorilla snapping his fingers “I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't even care. I just want to break you all up and drop your carcass outside your daddy's mansion. Wouldn't that be a beautiful message for your daddy? "  
"As if he would care"  
I tried to move towards the guy but I was so dizzy that I fell on my ass on the floor. The gorilla was soon on top of me filling me with punches.  
"Here's a lesson for you, you little shit: don't provoke strangers in places like this".  
Of course, I had to tease a guy who had a fight with my dad. Of course, I was going to end up breaking my wand when the guy dropped me on the floor. Shit.  
That was decidedly the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.  
The guy then came at me and started to deliver blows and kicks. I tried to kick or block the guy but I couldn't control my legs, I could barely protect my face with my arms while the guy continued to punch me.  
“You are a coward and a weakling, you don't even try to fight back. That must be why everyone hates you, you are so spoiled and snobby that no one can stand you. Apparently, not even your father can handle you, otherwise he wouldn't have let his precious little son walk alone to get drunk at this time of night, mainly at   
streak platter.  
Where does this guy get so much breath to hit and give a hate speech?  
I tried to think of something else, another place to be, to not have to listen to what this idiot said, things that I knew if I paid attention, would be true. I needed to get away from the pain.  
The only thing I could think of was how I wanted to find that idiot at the Ministry, how I wanted to break his face and curse him with all the dark spells I knew.  
I smiled weakly just thinking about the expression of pain in those incredible blue eyes. What would your ecstatic face look like at a glance ...  
What?!  
I was amazed at my thoughts and it brought me back to the present.  
The brute had stopped. Why had he stopped? Did he finally get tired. I vaguely heard screams, horrible and painful screams.  
I suddenly felt a hand touch me.  
Holy shit, does this guy never get tired?  
"It looks like you messed with the wrong guy, doesn't it? What are you doing in this place?" asked a voice next to me, with a familiar accent.  
I only managed to groan in pain, finally noticing the damage that was done to me.  
"Come on, I'll take you from here," the voice said again. I soon felt his hands grab me and I could only moan again.  
"Sorry," the voice said.  
I tried to open my eyes, luckily I managed to open at least one of them and I came across incredible blue eyes that are very familiar but that I didn't want to see so soon, not in the situation I found myself in. So vulnerable.  
"I'm going to need to carry you, hold on," he warned me before picking me up.  
I groaned again.  
"Sorry," he said again.  
Since I couldn't do anything, I just blacked out.

Lucian  
After getting everything I needed, I headed for a small bar that seemed to be more or less decent, when I smelled a slightly familiar musk smell. And it smelled of pain, anger, drink. And blood.  
"The puppy is in trouble," thought Lucian, his eyes glittering in a supernatural blue.  
Although the popular opinion is that Lycans are beings of darkness and savages, my band and I try to be different from that. I was never a bad guy, just a guy with whom bad things happened almost always. But I wasn't a muggle either, I didn't like how that spoiled puppy treated me but my instinct and my conscience told me to do something so when I sniffed the blood I just acted on instinct. I found the source and quickly got rid of the problem, he was just a very cruel drunk wizard but he was attacking and saying horrible things about a vulnerable and considerably more fragile drunk.  
I then simply stepped forward on the biggest drunk and quickly ripped his throat and threw his body away.  
I then went silently forward to see the spoiled boy from earlier, almost unrecognizable due to his very swollen and already purple face. He was in bad shape.  
"It looks like you messed with the wrong guy, doesn't it? What are you doing in this place?" I asked mockingly.  
He said nothing. I focused my hearing on your beats. They were fine, so he was still alive and awake.  
"Come on, I'll take you from here," I said. I touched his arm lightly and he groaned.  
"Sorry," I said gently.  
His eyes twitched a little but he managed to open a single eye and it was not swollen.  
"I'm going to need to carry you, hold on," I warned before gently picking him up.  
He groaned louder. I can't even imagine how hurt he was.  
"Sorry" I repeated.  
He finally passed out. And you didn't tell me where I was supposed to take you. I was screwed.


	5. Capítulo 5

I don't know how my night was going to end but I didn't expect it to end with me having to carry a battered and spoiled drunken wizard to the room I had rented in a cheap hotel, the price for being a nice guy, sometimes. Life is sometimes a bitch that bites you in the ass, no pun intended.

One of the advantages of being at Streak platter is that if you are carrying a passed out man, no one stops or questions you. Everyone here has their own illicit things to worry about.

I walked slowly carrying my burden through the streets until I reached the hotel where I was staying these days in London.

As I suspected, the boy at the desk was reading a copy of the daily Prophet and didn't even look at me. Better that way.

I arrived in the room and deposited the wizard on the bed.

Now what to do?

Maybe he had to be comfortable? Then I started to undo the clothes. I dropped his blazer, undid the knot and took off his tie and removed his shoes. The wizard remained passed out.

I took a basin that supposedly looked like a spitpan and took it to the bathroom at the end of the hall. I washed it very well, filled it with water and took it back to the room. There I took a clean piece of cloth and dipped it in the basin as it passed gently over the dirt and sores on the wizard's face.

The baby, even asleep, did not seem relaxed, its forehead creased constantly, its eyes fluttering under its lids. I changed the water already and went back to check his other wounds. I unbuttoned her white blouse and went back to wiping the cloth because it was a body, taking extra care when I passed her bruises and bruises.

"This is going to be really ugly, you shouldn't fight with those who can't, puppy," I mumbled.

I had the power to help him, I had acquired an ingredient with healing properties for the pack but they would be fine, the benefits of healing faster than any other being.

I took some ointment that I had bought to relax my muscles and went back to my bag and took a sprig of descurainia¹ and carefully kneaded it and put it in the puppy's mouth and swallowed it with water.

The cub rose abruptly, agitated. He looked frantically around the room and was terrified when he saw me.

"Calm down. Calm down, you're fine, you'll be fine", I tried to calm the same but he remained agitated.  
As he was weak I managed to hold him down and kept talking calmly "Okay. Rest assured, you are safe. I just want to help you".

He remained agitated and I didn't know what to do. I also wouldn't be at peace if I took a beating and woke up in a strange place with a strange man.

Then I started humming some song, maybe it would help him calm down.

Oh, let's go

Steve walks warily down the street

With the brim pulled way down low

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,

Machine guns ready to go

The puppy finally seemed to perceive the environment around him but still looked anxious. It didn't seem so averse to the touch anymore so I started to run my fingers gently drawing invisible circles on his hand, as he didn't move me away and just looked at me. So I went up by his arm, still humming.

Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this? Oh, let's go

Steve walks warily down the street

With the brim pulled way down low

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,

Machine guns ready to go

Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?

Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

To the sound of the beat  
His eyes were closing again, I stopped humming and was already getting up when I felt his hand squeeze mine tightly.

"Please ... don't go," he whispered.

I waved and sat down again and hummed.

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone

Another one bites the dust

Hey, I'm gonna get you, too

Another one bites the dust

Soon the puppy was already asleep again and for a while I continued to hum and caress his arms until I fell asleep myself and slept with my head on the bed.

Bart

I dreamed of blue. The blue sky. The blue sea. There was a beautiful field with blue flowers. Then suddenly a familiar pair of blue eyes appeared. I felt safe and happy like I had never felt before but then those beautiful eyes disappeared and I was helpless, alone. I was used to feeling it but it was much worse this time.

I woke up with that feeling of emptiness suffocating me, my body aching as if I had ... taken a beating, except that I should feel worse and not just sore.

I looked around thinking that maybe I could still be at the mercy of that troglodyte wizard and I came across blue eyes, the eyes I saw in my dreams, right in front of me, looking worried. My instinct just told me to grab the owner of those eyes, no matter who I was, I just needed to feel safe, and that's what I did. I threw myself on the person with those amazing blue eyes, ignoring my own body's protests. For a moment I felt the stiffness but then the person was holding me back against his chest.

"Hey, you're safe. Stay calm. You're fine, it's going to be okay," a soft voice spoke.  
I continued to hold on to whoever it was as a lifeline. I felt one hand caress my back and the other caress my hair.

I heard him - I had at least identified with protector as one - softly humming a song, his chest vibrated with each note and it helped my cheating body to relax.

********

Some time later, I moved away from my protector and was shocked to realize who he was, understanding why his eyes were familiar to me.

"I think I owe you thanks for saving me."

"You are welcome, but maybe you should consider that it is not a wise idea to get drunk is to have a fight with a stranger."

I felt my face heat up. This had never happened to me "What if I said it was frustration that drove me to drink? Frustration with wanting to fight with you".

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and it made his face less serious and almost adorable "I would still say it was stupid. But as it is in the past, that is behind us, Mr. Crouch."

I cringed when I heard my father's name but surprised that he remembered "Please don't call me that".

"But that's your name, what should I call you then?

I considered it for a moment after all, I never had any friends, so no one ever gave me a nickname besides the spoiled brat "Barty. Call me Barty".

"So, nice to meet you, Barty. My name is Lucian."


	6. Chapter 6

Some time later, I moved away from my protector and was shocked to realize who he was, understanding why his eyes were familiar to me.

"I think I owe you thanks for saving me."

"You are welcome, but perhaps you should consider that it is not a sensible idea to get drunk is to have a fight with a stranger."

I felt my face heat up. This had never happened to me "What if I said it was frustration that drove me to drink? Frustration with wanting to fight with you".

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and it made his face less serious and almost adorable "I would still say it was stupid. But as it is in the past, that is behind us, Mr. Crouch."

I cringed when I heard my father's name but surprised that he remembered "Please don't call me that".

"But that's your name, what should I call you then?

I considered it for a moment after all, I never had any friends, so no one ever gave me a nickname besides the spoiled brat "Barty. Call me Barty".

"So, nice to meet you, Barty. My name is Lucian."

I raised a curious eyebrow "Just Lucian?

He waved, smiling "For you, yes"

"So it's okay" I looked curious and a little disgusted at the room "Where are we? Why didn't you take me home?"

"We are at Travessa do Tranco. And I didn't think you were going to want to get home injured and drunk with a skunk"

I looked offended "How dare you say that? I wasn't that drunk".

The man, Lucian sighed "And we are back to male sensitivity. You have a volatile temperament, puppy."

"I am not a puppy or boy".

"But don't act like an adult. At least be thankful that I saved you from that stupid gorilla."  
I felt outraged even though I didn't want to acknowledge that he was right "I didn't ask you to do anything, I had everything under control"

"It's fascinating how you had absolute control over the guy who was going to beat you to death and then drop your spoiled carcass on your dad's door."

For a moment, I saw something sparkle in Lucian's eyes but as soon as it appeared and disappeared "Yes, I was going to get by myself, thank you very much. And now I want to go home".

Lucian looked at me in exasperation and made a gesture of mock reverence. "Feel free to go home, your royal highness. I don't take prisoners," and went out the door.

"Hey wait, I need my wand"

Lucian shouted outside, "Good luck using that piece of broken branch."

I noticed my poor wand split in half beside the "Merda" bedside table.

******************

I left that xexelent hotel without saying goodbye to my 'host', as if I were to thank him for his lack of courtesy, which did not even accompany me to the Diagon Alley, since I couldn't Apparate even at home.

I felt good despite the wounds caused by that wizard from yesterday but I didn't notice any bruises on my body, which tells me that the troglodyte ... Lucian had healed me. But I wouldn't open my mouth to thank him, after all, he was rude enough with me the night before. I left that muquifo and walked to the entrance to Travessa, not the sight of people who could misinterpret if they saw me there. I had no money and no mental conditions to provide a new wand so I would come back later to go to Olivaras.

"Winkie", even without a wand I could summon my elf and she would apparate us home.

I heard the characteristic ploc at the same time that the elf appeared in front of me "Young master, Winkie was concerned, where were you, sir? Mr Crouch still doesn't know that the young master was missing, Winkie hid it from the young master's parents."

I felt touched by Winkie covering for me, it almost reminds me of when I was a child and she hid the things I broke "Thanks Winkie, I'm fine, don't worry. Could you take me up to my room? my know i didn't sleep at home "

"Of course, young master. Winkie takes master home," he said taking my hand.

I felt the tug on my navel and soon we were in my "Thanks Winkie" room.

"For nothing, young master, can Winkie do anything else?"

"Not now, but later I need you to take me back to the alley. Thanks Winkie"  
Winkie disappeared on another spot.

I sighed exhausted and went to take a shower. I really didn't feel any pain except for a few painful bruises - that wizard must be a mediwizard to do such a good job, maybe I should be grateful when I see him next time - I took a quick shower and got ready but when I left the room I came across my beloved father.

"Where did you spend the night?"

I didn't let it show that I had been scared. "Good morning, dear father, am I very well and how are you on this beautiful morning?", He said sarcastically while trying to get a change of clothes without my father seeing the bruises.

"Don't come with that abused language on me. Where did you spend the night? In a brothel? I hope a prostitute does not show up at my door saying that she is pregnant with a bastard of yours, that would end my chances as future Minister."

"I'm a grown-up wizard, I don't owe you any satisfaction about where and with whom I spend my nights, but rest assured that there won't be grandchildren for you" mainly because I don't like women, not that you would care about that, Daddy. I thought as I put on my clothes.

Dad walked up to me, pushing me against the wall, my injured back protested "You spoiled brat, I let your mother pamper you too much and now you are that abusive and irresponsible boy".

"Maybe if he had treated me like his son, I wouldn't be like that" I replied, succumbing to an involuntary nervous tic. (N / A: that thing he does with his tongue and I never know what it is)

"Didn't I treat you like a son? I paid for the best school of magic. I gave you a roof, food and clothes. Your mother gave you everything you wanted. I think so, I treated you like a son."

"I never needed these things, I wanted your attention, your love. You always treated me like I was just someone living in your house and not your son." I let some of my frustration escape.

"Ah, don't make me a martyr, you like luxury, you like the quiet life. What would you be without it?"

I was silent. Really, what did I know to do besides the things I had learned in high school?

"Silence? Yes, that's what I thought. You are a useless person who will never do anything to pay for your life", my father left the room.

I punched the bedroom wall, hurting my hand, but my hatred was so much that I didn't even recognize the pain, I just kept punching it hard, imagining it was my father's face. How I hate him. He always lowers me. If he didn't want to take the trouble to give love to a son he should at least have been cautious and never had me, it would have been better for everyone.

I need to get out of here or I'll end up going crazy.

I straightened my hair and tried to calm my hatred and my breathing, grabbed some coins and called Winkie.  
Winkie, let Merlin bless her, said nothing and just took me to the diagonal alley.

I did not delay and soon went to Olivaras where I got a new wand.

I walked around the alley aimlessly, still distracted by my hatred and I didn't even hear when my name was called.

I saw Bellatriz, Rodolfo and Rabastan walking towards me.

"Where are you going so distracted, dear Barto," Bellatriz asked in her watery voice.

"Nowhere that interests you", I replied without humor to put up with these 3 idiots.

"I would be careful with the way I talk to her if I were you, Crouch. You don't want to see Bella angry," Rabastan said calmly.

"I have bigger problems than having to deal with you 3"

"Ah poor poor Barty, did you have a fight with Dad again? Don't you get tired of trying to please your old man? I remember you at Hogwarts, very skilled in the art of darkness," Bellatriz said seductively.

No one was allowed to call me that "Don't call me that, so what if I was good? You were too and Snape. Why bring that up now?"

"Snape was really good, so our friend joined our little circle."

"Bella", Rodolfo called exhilarating.

"You would also like our new friends, all powerful. Have you ever thought about being even more powerful, and how would that make your daddy kneel at your feet begging for your forgiveness? It would be a delicious feeling, wouldn't it be, my dear Barto?"

Never before have I been so tempted to do something that I know I would regret later, but Bellatriz's words, the image of my father on his knees at my feet ... were too pleasant and powerful.

"My dear, Barty. I'm glad I finally found you," a familiar voice said behind me and holding tight to my shoulder. Lucian.

He smiled pleasantly and looked at my company "Hello, are you friends with my dear Barty? It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Lucian," he said, extending his hand in the direction of Rabastan.

The 3 soon moved away from Lucian's hand and gave me a cold look. "You should be careful who you associate with, Barto," Bellatriz said as she walked away.

I looked at Lucian "What are you doing here? Are you crazy?"

The sweet smile had given way to a cold expression "You should be careful with the company you hang out with"

Ironic snort "Would that include you?"

Lucian truly smiled at me "I? I am the least of your worries, I’m almost harmless to you but those 3? They stink of rot and evil things"

I let Lucian lead me, thinking about how sure he is about those 3.


	7. Chapter 7

I continued to be guided by Lucian, the two of us walking casually like old acquaintances but both still tense. Lucian still holding my shoulder tightly.

I ended up leading him to the leaky cauldron, Lucian hesitated at the entrance but I insisted on entering so he finally came in looking at all sides and soon we found a vacant table in a far corner.

We sat down and I was like, "What did you mean, 'do they stink of evil things?'"

Lucian looked at the environment inquisitively and at the same time seemed ready to fight or run. He finally looked at me "What?"

"You told my friends that they stink of rotten and evil things. Why?"

"You really don't know why?"

"Well, if I knew, I wouldn't be asking you right now."

"You seemed to want to get rid of them not as if you wanted to talk to old friends from high school. You shouldn't even call them friends."

"They're not really my friends, we just studied together. And you're changing the subject"

"They are bad. Everything about them says that"

"You shouldn't be judging people by appearances. Although you're not wrong about them."

He gave a quick smile "You are right. You are a great example, puppy"

I looked at him confused but before I could ask what he meant, Tom came to take our orders, I noticed Lucian exiting to choose butterbeer and I asked the same "I'm not a puppy so stop calling me that. Why do you do that? " I asked after Tom left.

"This what?"

"Because you are always suspicious looking at everyone as if they are going to advance on you"

Lucian looks at me seriously and says calmly "You get used to it, people are strangers these days. You never know who, where or when you might be attacked"

"Ahem. And why am I an example of being wrong about appearances?" I asked suspiciously.

"You dress like a lord, you had an exemplary upbringing. You look like a cool guy who doesn't care about the things around you but you're obviously trying to hide what you really are and what you feel"

I frowned at him "What makes you think that? I'm not weak"

"I didn't say you are. Being vulnerable makes you human"

"So what is your weakness? What makes you vulnerable?"

Lucian suddenly looked distant and then his eyes shone with hurt and sadness, I have never been so frustrated with myself.

Lucian cleared his throat "I didn't ask what makes you vulnerable so I would appreciate it if you had the same courtesy".  
I nodded in agreement, I also wouldn't want to tell him about what makes me vulnerable even though he made me more curious. When Tom left after delivering our order I changed the subject "I think you must be a mediwizard, correct?"

Lucian smiled "Why do you think I'm a mediwizard?"

"Well, yesterday when you helped me, you healed me a lot better than any wand could do, generally mediwitches are that good or maybe you are a pionist"

Lucian laughed and I felt a funny feeling in my stomach just to hear the sound, I felt a strange desire and an almost need to hear more, to see that easy smile and the sparkle in his eyes

"I am neither one thing nor the other. I just happened to have the right things at the right time"

"I don't believe in coincidences" I looked at him suspiciously.

"Well, it should"

We were silent for a while until I asked him "How did you know I was here at Beco?"

Lucian sipped his beer absently "I didn't know. I was around and I smelled your blood"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion "Did you feel the ... what are you a vampire?"

Lucian stiffened and his eyes lost their easy shine, his lips no longer smiling "I must go, I have to buy the herbs again and go back to ... home"

"What I said?"

"I can't stand vampires and comparing myself to one is an insult"

Maybe he was a blood purist but he didn’t seem like the kind of wizard with that kind of prejudice "Well, I didn’t mean to insult you, it was just a silly comment. But I realize I’m getting in the way of whatever you need do"

Lucian deposited the coins on the table and then said goodbye "See you around, puppy"

I couldn't let him go yet.

I left a few more coins on the table and ran after him, when I finally reached him I took his arm, as he had done with me a few hours ago "I haven't thanked him yet for helping me. Thanks"

Lucian waved and gave me a weak smile "It was nothing", he started to walk away.

"Can you at least tell me your last name?"

"And why would i do that?"

Good question. Why did I wish I could have contact with this complete stranger who saved my life?

I've never been more curious about a person. He simply challenged me knowing who I am a son of, saved me and now he challenged me again. I loved a good challenge.

"Because you are strange and a fool"

Lucian raised an eyebrow "How is it?"

I blushed a little ashamed "You are a mystery and a challenge, I like challenges"

"Well, then good luck in unraveling this challenge," Lucian smiled, walking away from me without answering me.

I shouted at him, excited for no apparent reason "Challenge accepted"  
***************************

I went back a few times at Alley and in Streak Platter Travessa do tranco (I went undercover and being cautious, after all I didn't want a repeat last time) but in none of them did I find Lucian, that left me a little disappointed. It was then that I thought about sending you letters, every day I sent you an owl and looked forward to your answers.

I was extremely happy when I received the first response. The letters started out as a challenge. I asked him questions and riddles trying to find out more about him but he was always evasive. So I would just tell you a little about my day and ask about your day and about it.

That's when I really realized that I had nothing to say about myself. I did nothing all day, had no profession or occupation. Really my father was right, I was just someone taking up space in the world and useless.

I may have let it show in some letters because Lucian always told me to forget his words, which were bullshit. It always made me laugh.

And despite what he said I was determined to take a turn in my life. I needed to change. The fact that I wanted to stay away from the poisonous tongue and my father's disappointed look only made that clearer.


	8. Chapter 8

And despite what he said I was determined to take a turn in my life. I needed to change. The fact that I wanted to stay away from the poisonous tongue and my father's disappointed look only made that clearer.

I needed to do something with my life, that was very clear to me. But I never wanted anything in my life, except to please my father. I never planned or thought about my future. And it has never haunted me until now.  
I wanted to have interesting things to write in my letters. Tell about my work and the people I saw and met. I should be frightened by these thoughts after all it was totally different from my own thoughts, different from what my creation led me to think and I think that was why I did not fear what would come.  
The problem was what I could do. I had more than perfect qualifications to be anything I wanted, from a professor of potions, spells or DCAT at Hogwarts to even an auror. I would only need a letter from my father. I just didn't want that. I didn't want a job that needed to use any kind of influence from my father, I wanted to go on my own and not because I was his son.  
I wonder when I changed so much. Suddenly every wizard gets tired of sameness someday?  
I don't know if I would have the patience to deal with disinterested students and exams. Maybe I could work in some sector of the Ministry until I decided which way to go.  
I wanted to earn my place on merit so I decided to disguise myself and use a false name. I transfigured a pair of glasses without a degree, changed my hairstyle and put on garments of good taste but simpler than the ones I used to wear. So I took the necessary documents and my wand and went to my father's flue fireplace. "Ministry of magic".  
The flue net was not a good means of travel but it was less worse than apparatuses or portkeys.  
Quickly fixing my fake glasses I found myself coming out of one of the hundreds of fireplaces in the ministry. As always, the corridors were packed with wizards and witches hurriedly passing by.  
I had already done my research, I knew I needed to go to the tiny, hidden hiring room.  
I greeted the middle-aged witch behind the table and without even looking at me she gestured with her wand and paperwork appeared in my hands.  
"Fill out these papers".  
"Okay" because what else could I tell her?  
“John Hardy. Muggle-born, his NOMS and NIEMS grades were O in potions, DCAT, EE in spells. Slytherin ”I needed a less flashy name than my current one so I chose to use my middle name and my mother's maiden name. I would still be lying about my identity but nothing serious.  
The witch never read her file and didn't even look at him when she spoke again after he handed over the papers “You start tomorrow at the fourth level, Department for regulation and control of magical creatures. Look for Amos Diggory ”  
I let out the breath I hadn't even noticed I was holding. I was satisfied that I was not placed in the Magical Law Enforcement Department, my father was a horrible father but even he would recognize me if we ran into each other in the hall. I didn't question getting a job vacancy so quickly but I wouldn't complain.  
I said goodbye to the witch who again ignored me and headed for the Ministry entrance amid chaotic people.  
I couldn't wait to tell Lucian the news.  
I had a guaranteed job, it was a start.  
*****************  
Diggory ended up assigning me as assistant to Cornélio Fudge, the current Junior Minister in the Department of Accidents and Magic Catastrophes. My next step was to get a place to stay. Surprisingly, Fudge helped me with this. He introduced me to an old acquaintance of his who had a small but clean apartment for rent. In less than 1 week I had a job and a place to stay, I was never more satisfied with myself.  
I packed my things, said goodbye to Winkie and left satisfied. The days passed and I quickly adapted to work. Of course it was not the most glamorous or challenging job for me but I was satisfied with myself. I was doing well and was doing something for myself, Cornélio was an enthusiastic and vibrant wizard but he was a good man and I liked him, he always had things to teach and always willing to help, I liked being his assistant. Some of the cases that went through his office were funny. Like that of a young man who tried to transfigure his cat into a pair of shoes and ended up gaining a hybrid mix between the two, the poor cat almost tore the wizard's feet off with bites and scratches. I was very sorry for the poor cat.  
When I told Lucian I could almost imagine him smiling at the letter as he read and wondered what had happened.  
But the letters were no longer enough for me. How was it possible that I needed so much to see and hear a man I barely knew?  
Lucian never answered when I asked where he was and when I would see him again so I stopped asking.  
One day I was surprised by a strange gray owl carrying a letter that she left on my desk at work.  
"See you soon, puppy"  
I didn't need the signature to know who had sent it. I was immensely happy with the letter, so happy that I couldn't stop smiling. Even Cornelius noticed.  
“Well, it must be a letter from someone you like very much. Did your girlfriend make an appointment with you? ”  
I looked scared “Girlfriend? What girlfriend?"  
“Why, yours. I thought it was your girlfriend's letter. You look so happy ”  
My face gets hot "He's just a friend, he comes to see me".  
“Ah well… this is also splendid news. A very dear friend, I see. You know, John, if you like this friend a lot you needn't be ashamed to admit it. "  
"I do not have shame. And he really is just my friend "  
A friend with whom I have libertine dreams  
“You don't have to give any satisfaction, young man. It's just good to see people happy with the simple things in life ”  
I'm beginning to think that maybe Cornelius isn't that normal.  
"Yes, it is," I replied blandly.  
“Well, I'm going to get back to my business. See you."  
"Okay, sir".  
Leaving the room still happy but confused by Cornelius' words. Did I really look excited as if Lucian was my girlfriend?  
Well if that were so, I wouldn't mind. Lucian in such a short time has become a more special and important person in my life than any other person I have lived with.  
Is it possible that I was in love?


	9. Chapter 9

"See you soon, puppy ', that wasn't very clear" I thought to myself, after all, why this enigmatic message? why not book a place or at least speak a date? I'm not used to having moments of anxiety.  
A week had passed since I received the letter and I still hadn't heard from Lucian, it made me a little upset and it could be noticed even if I tried to hide it, as my boss made a point of commenting.  
"Why, my dear John, what happened?"  
I was distracted looking at some files from the staff at the Obliviation Center and I hadn't even realized that Cornelius was there until he nudged me. At the same time I got up awkwardly "Sir?"  
"My boy, sit down. Tell me, what's the matter?"  
"None, sir"  
"John, don't lie to me, are you having problems at home?"  
Thanks to Merlin my small apartment was simple by the standards I grew up with but it was clean and I was happy to say it was mine so I was happy and had no problems at home. I even doubted that my father had noticed my absence.  
"No sir, everything is going well"  
He looked at me like he was reading my soul "Your friend hasn't been talking to you, has he?"  
I sighed unhappily "No, sir"  
"Well, I'm sure he must have a very good reason for that. You will be fine" Cornélio smiled.  
It was what I expected too.  
**************  
The next day, I received a new letter.  
"See you at the exit, puppy"  
Smile. Finally.  
The next few hours seemed endless, the day has never seemed so long.  
Soon I was leaving - finally - when Cornélio called me.  
"John, Bartô Crouch is calling you in his office.  
My blood froze and my body froze.  
"Did he ... say what it was about, sir?"  
"No, he just asked me to call you to warn you. Good afternoon, my boy"  
I nodded and walked to the elevator, pressed the button for the 4th floor. Maybe he was just curious to meet a new ministry employee, I thought to myself as I considered casting a little glamor on myself. Hardy wasn't such a rare name after all, he couldn't have linked the name to me.  
Finally I got to the door to his office and knocked on the door.  
"In between"  
I took a deep breath and entered my father's office.  
He signed some documents and didn't even look at me when I walked in. "You have an interesting surname, Mr. Hardy. It's the same as my wife's family. I've heard very good things about you. Everyone praises your work, Sigmund Bingley is wanting you to be relocated to Obliviation Central. Your record is really impressive, but is it a matter of curiosity why you didn't want to be an auror? " he finally said looking at me.  
Soon his look of surprise changed to disgust "What are you doing here?"  
"I work here, sir"  
"You? Work? What kind of joke is this? Don't tell me that ... Oh you didn't do that. Did you forge a fake ID? I created a delinquent"  
"It's not a fake ID, I'm just using my mom's last name"  
"You think you're so smart, don't you, boy?"  
I was already losing my patience with him "Well, you just praised my skills yourself. I think that after all, all the money you spent on me was well invested"  
My dad stood up abruptly "You don't show me respect, boy. I can end your life and career before it even starts"  
"I don't understand what you want from me. I'm doing something with my life, I have a home, and I have a job. Why can't you be happy for me? What did I do to make you hate me so much?"  
"You will never be anything in life. You may have a job and you may have left the house but you are nothing. What did you do, you ask me, you were born".  
I looked closely at his face, not showing how far his words had penetrated me. "I'm glad we're cleared up then," he said, leading me out.  
"Your days here are numbered, son"  
I closed the door behind me, exhausted and emotionally worn out.  
I went through the corridors of the ministry, oblivious to the world around me. Thinking about how the father himself could say that kind of thing to a son, without the slightest remorse. Why so much hate? I never did anything to deserve this contempt and indifference. I always tried to be the perfect, obedient child. never getting in trouble.  
I finally arrived outside the ministry and walked through the rain, not really noticing that it was raining or what I was doing.  
Suddenly, warm hands grabbed me by the shoulders and I finally came out of my contemplative / depressed state. Hands that I recognized.  
Lucian.  
"Puppy, I was calling you" he must have seen how devastated I was because he immediately looked at me worried "did you happen to me? What happened?"  
I just looked at him for a moment and then I found myself hugging him with everything I had. He was rigid at first, but soon he hugged me back. I took my wand and apparated us to my apartment.  
Lucian was even harder against my embrace "Please tell me who left you like this?"  
I just clung to him more and breathed in his scent, helped me calm down.  
I pulled away enough to look into his blue eyes and kissed him.  
He looked surprised but then he kissed me back. I had never kissed a guy before but I couldn't imagine anyone with a better taste and kiss than Lucian.  
His hand held my hair at the back of the neck, pinning me, leaving me at his mercy. Dominating me.  
I started to take off his jacket with my eyes closed and he released me just to remove the rest of it, then his hands removed my coat with the same tenderness.  
My hands practically tore her shirt, I heard the buttons falling on the floor everywhere. I stopped for a moment to admire his hairy chest, my mouth started to salivate as I imagined what it would taste like when I ran my lips across his torso. My hands started to caress and explore his dark hair, I went down until I reached the fly of his pants, ready to break it.  
Lucian's hands took mine, stopping me. I looked at his face.  
"I don't want to do this, not when you are so vulnerable"  
"I am not vulnerable" I said annoyed already advancing on him again  
"You are. If I take this further and you regret it, I could never forgive myself. I don't want to hurt you."  
"You couldn't do that, just if you didn't return my feelings" I decided to be honest with him, if he rejected me, so be it. It is better to finish whatever we have at once before I get more attached to him and he leaves me later.  
Lucian looked at me thirsty and alert "And what are these feelings?"  
"I think you know very well what they are. Now I want you to fuck me"  
Lucian just made an animalistic noise and advanced on me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains lemon, I'm so ashamed

Lucian advanced on my lips with strength and feeling, his hands roamed my body, squeezing and stroking. It felt like something feral and animalistic, and I was loving it.  
He was all my 1st time. My first kiss with another man, the first man I would have sex with (if Merlin wanted to) and my first love. I had never loved anyone until I met him and I doubted I would ever love anyone else. I had really taken the time to discover that different feeling that I always felt when I thought of him or read his letters, that feeling of anxiety, but a good anxiety. I was loving a person, loving a man. And I wasn't afraid to assume that.  
When Lucian's lips parted from mine, he started to nibble and kiss my neck, his hand had reached up to my ass and was squeezing it willingly.  
I groaned without being able to contain myself "God, I love you"  
Lucian stopped kissing me and pulled away enough to look at me.  
I feared I said the wrong thing at the wrong time.  
His eyes looked back at me, unreadable "What did you say?"  
I averted my eyes embarrassed.  
Lucian let go of me and I realized that I really said the wrong thing but I soon felt two big hands hold on both sides of my face "Please Barty, look at me"  
I looked reluctantly. He looked at me happily and even ... hopeful "Please say it again"  
Maybe I didn't screw it up.  
"I love you" he said kissing one of his hands.  
Lucian gave me a peck "I love you too. A lot"  
I kissed him again and he responded with much more emotion than before.  
Not long afterwards, already undressed, Lucian placed me gently on my bed, never moving his lips away from mine. He was spreading his kisses over my body and caressing and squeezing me reverently, I just managed to hold his long hair and moan with each nibble.  
"Please, no more foreplay, I need you," I said when I couldn't take it anymore.  
"Nothing would make me more satisfied," Lucian bit me again.  
I then summoned a small package of lubricant and handed it to Lucian. I spread my legs wide and Lucian positioned himself between my legs. He then opened it and spread the liquid on his fingers and kissed me passionately. I soon felt a small intrusion. The first finger.  
I groaned against his mouth. It was a strange sensation, but not a bad one.  
"Are you alright?" Lucian kissed me again, distracting me.  
"Yes" I sighed.  
Then I felt the small discomfort increase when he inserted another finger, but it soon passed when Lucian started making a scissor movement (n / a: I'm sorry for that, I really don't know how to write that kind of thing).  
I groaned more and more, loving the sensation but wanting more. I didn't have to wait that long, so I had three fingers inside me. It still wasn't enough.  
Lucian continued his movements rhythmically and then stopped.  
"Ready?"  
I just managed to nod.  
The fingers left my body and then I felt something much bigger penetrate me.  
"God, yes," I groaned.  
"You are so tight, I love it" Lucian said in my ear.  
The sounds of our groans together echoed around us, I bit Lucian's shoulder with each thrust of him and felt his nails pierce my skin the faster he went. Repeatedly it reached the right point in me and I already felt that it could explode at any moment.  
Lucian made more and more animal sounds and I found that exciting.  
Finally I exploded over the two of us moaning with intense orgasm, Lucian stopped on top of me and tensed and I felt his warmth flood me. He looked at me and I could have sworn that for a second I saw a bluish glow in his eyes but I thought it might as well be the effects of my pleasure.  
Lucian fell on me, exhausted. I hugged his body next to mine, too tired to make any other moves.  
"Are you alright?" Lucian asked breathlessly.  
"I've never been better," he said sincerely, smiling with satisfaction.  
"Good. I feel that way too" Lucian kissed my forehead and lay down next to me, pulling me to lie on his chest.  
My fingers slid through the hair on his chest.  
"I know you want to ask me something, you can talk," Lucian said as he ran his nose lovingly over my hair.  
"What are we now? I mean, to each other?"  
Lucian thought a little "Isn't it obvious? I love you and you love me. We are together if you want to"  
"Of course I do," I said, smiling.  
"So, we're together" Lucian smiled back, his smile sweet.  
"So we're together" I smiled back, closing my eyes and resting on Lucian's warm and welcoming chest.  
****************************  
The days passed and I was happier and happier. Every night Lucian and I went out for the night in London, just enjoying each other's company, whether they were having dinner together or even sitting in the park holding hands. Every night, we made love, without exception, and I found myself more and more in love. Cornelius and everyone could see that I was radiant with happiness but nobody asked me why, which I thought was good. Cornelius might have a sense of why, but he just smiled at me and went back to his duties. My life was perfect.  
But as always, something bad had to happen.  
I had come home and was preparing a romantic dinner (I had learned to do the basics when I acquired the apartment, I was never so happy with this decision) and simple for me and Lucian. I thought Lucian's delay when I finished preparing, after all every night without delay, he would meet me at 7 pm sharp and it was almost 20hrs.  
Lucian was never late and I was starting to get worried.  
When it was 9 pm I was already preparing to go in search of him when I heard knocking on the door.  
I ran over to see who it was.


	11. Chapter 11

I looked at Lucian in amazement.  
"By Merlin, where have you been?"  
Lucian looked at me with regret "Forgive me for the delay, puppy. I had some problems to solve and that took up a lot of my time, I didn't expect to take so long"  
"Do you realize how worried I was? I thought something happened to you."  
Lucian came over and kissed me "Sorry, honey. I really couldn't help it. I didn't want to worry you"  
"You could at least have sent an owl, or a note, a patron. Anything"  
Lucian fussed but just said "I'm sorry"  
He looked so sorry that I calmed down and hugged him tight and whispered in his ear "I'm still upset with you but I'm really happy that you're okay"  
Lucian held me closer to him "And what can I do to deserve your forgiveness?"  
I smiled "Surprise me".  
I felt Lucian's chest vibrate and soon we were inside the apartment with Lucian throwing me over his shoulder.  
"Hey, what do you think you're doing? Put me on the floor"  
"Not yet," I said, slapping my ass hard.  
"Lucian" I protested weakly.  
"Don't worry, I will be nice"  
I huffed angrily "And who said I want you to be kind?"  
Plah  
Another slap.  
"Okay then, petulant puppy, you asked" Lucian said before throwing me on the bed.  
I looked at him expectantly as he tore off his shirt and tossed it randomly around the room. I couldn't help being enchanted by his perfect body, from his hairy chest to his six-pack abs. How could I have been so lucky?  
Lucian leaned over me, his knee spreading my legs. He opened my shirt and started to smell and kiss my neck, taking light bites.  
"Sometimes" he said between groans "you look like a dog, you seem to like to mark me as yours, so territorial".  
Lucian snarled, "I'm not a dog."  
"I know not, silly. I even like it. It makes me feel safe ..." I groaned when Lucian's mouth sucked on my nipple.  
"You talk too much," he growled again and bit my nipple harder.  
"Damn it, can we please skip the foreplay and get on with it at last?"  
"Oh no, I'm really enjoying our fun so far, I love hearing you say my name when you're excited."  
"Lucian", I groaned when he tore my pants and advanced on my phallus.  
It felt so good to be warm, Lucian knew which buttons to push and it drove me crazy.  
I was so distracted that I barely felt it when Lucian's lubricated fingers penetrated me.  
Lucian soon found my tender spot and I felt the heat in my gut increase with each lunge.  
This man could drive me crazy with his fingers and mouth.  
Soon, I couldn't take it and reached the summit, Lucian still with his mouth on me.  
I took a deep breath and looked at him, he still had a tent in his pants "Come here, I'll help you with your little problem.  
It was a long night, we missed dinner but I don't think either of us missed it.

****************

The days went by. I was happy with my job and my relationship with Lucian. My father didn't bother me. I've never been happier before.  
Until one day there was an envelope on my desk with nothing written but my name in elegant calligraphy.  
Curious, I opened the envelope and took out a small piece of paper and a note stuck in the front.  
A little courtesy for you.  
You should be careful who you associate with,  
I thought it was fair to warn you.  
Be careful not to fall with your lover.  
☠  
I confusedly ignored the note and went to read the first page.  
My eyes focused on Lucian's name. Lucian Black. My mind couldn't understand the meaning of the words I read, my eyes reading frantically line after line. I jumped to the other pages, trying to find a reason, a proof of what I had read. Perhaps proof that it was all a joke, a joke.  
The next pages were printed photos. Photos of Lucian, some old and some recent. My Lucian alone. My Lucian with other men different but at the same time like him. Lucian in old clothes. with current clothes. Photos of immense wolves. Photos of Lucian then with werewolves and finally a moving photo of Lucian transforming into a werewolf.  
I couldn't believe this could be true.  
Lucian, the man I love. The only person in the whole world that I love and had total confidence in had lied to me all this time.  
Lucian was a werewolf.  
My Lucian lied to me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistake, my language is not English

To say that I was furious was not enough. I was both possessed and disappointed. But I felt mostly betrayed.

I was sleeping with a werewolf.

If it were a few months ago I would say it was disgusting because pure blood does not mix with "impure" beings but working in the Ministry made me see that things are not quite like that. I met Muggle-borns, I saw intelligent beings that my father always told me were worthless.

After that I would be hypocritical to say that my problem was that Lucian was a werewolf when in fact it was his lack of trust in me that hurt me the most.

I undressed my soul for him, I told him everything about me, without leaving any secrets out and he didn't even tell me the simplest about him. By Merlin's beard, I didn't even know where he lived or what he did or what he worked with.

I was so stupid.

I apparated at home completely furious, I knew that Lucian would be waiting for me on the way to my apartment but I wanted to have some time to digest the situation.

It all made sense now. The growls, the wild sex, Lucian always seemed to want to mark me. He never used any spells or carried a wand with him. All the signs were there, right in my face. The typical alpha male behavior, well, at least he didn't pee on me.

“But what am I thinking? Lucian is a fucking werewolf and I'm here making a joke ”

I sat down on a chair and started flipping through the file again.

Pictures after another I saw the face of Lucian, wolf and man, over many years. It made me wonder how old he was and whether werewolves were immortal or whether only Lucian was very well kept.

I placed the dossier on the table and stared at it as if it could burn at any moment.

I knew what I needed to do, I also knew that I should face Lucian but I really didn't want to do that, I didn't want to end the good thing we had, I didn't want to get away from the best thing that happened in my life.

In the midst of my inner chaos I heard the door being unlocked.

The time had come.

"Barty, are you here?"

I couldn't answer.

I heard Lucian's footsteps approaching and kept silent.

“Ah, here you are. I thought we were going to meet ”

I remained silent staring at the table.

Lucian tried to kiss my temple but I pulled away. “Are you okay, honey?  
I finally looked at him “If I'm okay? No, I'm not. Do you have anything to tell me, dear? ”

Lucian looked at me confused "No, how what?"

I crossed my arms over my chest "I don't know, maybe your little furry problem"

Lucian just looked at me sadly “I hoped you would know for me. Who told you?"

I smiled wryly "And when would you tell me? When did you change me? ”

Lucian looked at me seriously. “I wouldn't change you without your consent. I would never hurt you ”

“Ironic that you tell me that when you hurt me. How do you think I feel when I discover that the man to whom I gave my heart and to whom I told my secrets lied to me and hides things from me? ” I threw the dossier at him.

Lucian flinched but picked it up before hitting it and opened it. His eyebrows furrowed more and more with each page, at last he looked at me "Who gave you this?"

"Do not know. They left it on my table ”I shrugged.

"I need you to hear me"

“I don't have to hear you. You laughed at me "

"Yes, I lied and hid things from you and you don't know how I regret it but I need you to believe me, I never meant to hurt you".

"How can I believe you?"

"I never lied to you, even though I hid this secret I never lied"

"Lying and omitting are the same thing".

"Well, maybe but it was the only thing I hid from you."

"As if I can be sure that you're not lying right now."

"I am not".

This was my chance “Okay then tell me why you didn't tell me about what you are, or how old you are. Tell me anything that you hid from me for all this time that we are together ".

"I am not a werewolf".

I looked exasperated "Great, now I know you're lying" I got up from the chair.

"I'm not lying. I really am not a werewolf ”.

I crossed my arms again "So are you an animagus or a strange type of shape-changer?"

"No. I am a lycan ".

Then Lucian started talking about the mother he never met, about his first transformation. Then he talked about Victor and his time as a slave in the Carpathian castle and then he talked about her. Sonja and his death.

And his voice when he talked about her ... it was painful.

And I felt slightly guilty about being jealous of a dead vampire centuries ago.

"This is my story"

I nodded without knowing what to say.

I understood Lucian's reasons but I was still upset.

"Will not you say anything?"

I looked at Lucian "What do you want me to say?"

"I dont know".

“So we are 2. I understand why you hid it from me but I'm still feeling betrayed. I told you everything about me. Who knows why you came into my life ”

Lucian looked at me betrayed "Do you think I'm with you out of interest?"

"It could be, you hid things from me"

"This is different and you know".

"I know? As far as I know, you are in trouble with the Ministry and my father is an influential man there ".

"I may be a monster but I don't use people to get what I want".

"I never said you were a monster."

“I know what I am. Is that why you're so upset? "

“Do you think you are what you are? Do not be stupid. If it were a few months ago it could be but I don't think he's a monster. My only problem is your lie. I don't think we should see each other for a while. I have to think ... about things. ”

Lucian confirmed "If it is what you want to believe ... what you want".

I turned around, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on Lucian's face, that would make me reconsider my decision.

"I just want you to know that I never loved anyone but Sonja."

By Merlin, I didn't want to hear that.

Lucian then added, “Until I meet you. Every moment ... was real ".

The door slammed when he left, taking with him the only piece still full of my heart


End file.
